I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
