Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
