So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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