Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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