We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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