We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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