Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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