One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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