Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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