I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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