It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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