let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
