i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
