I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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