yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
