that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
