You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
