I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
