So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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