Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Say something about gay babies.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Randomize
