Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
