The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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