nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
