I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
