dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
