He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
