Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it because I queefed?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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