Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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