WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Barsexuality is the new black.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
