I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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