Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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