butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
