I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
