He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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