how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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