I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
