Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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