Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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