It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
