That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
