Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
