Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
