i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
