Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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