apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
