whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
