I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
