sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
