Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
