I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
